Apologies Accepted

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Now that Steve Coburn has apologized for his outburst on NBC, it seems appropriate for everyone to apologize for everything that happened over the five-week Triple Crown.

Here goes…

 

– Dear California Chrome,

Sorry about stepping on your foot, I don’t even know why I was next to you. I was thinking allowance race, then I see you in the paddock, I got nervous…anyway, I’ll stay out of your races from now on.”

Humbled,

– Matterhorn

 

– Dear Racing Fans,

Sorry. It sounded like a good gig – play some music, watch some horses. Then I looked out and saw all those sport coats and frilly hats, well, I was thinking I should change the set list but I don’t know any Sinatra…maybe you’re not quite my crowd but the horses were cool.

Unplugged,

– LL Cool J

 

– Dear Chrome,

Sorry I whipped you so much.

Disappointed,

– Victor

 

– Dear Preakness Fans,

Sorry about the never-ending version of God Bless America, I was told to wait for the planes and they just wouldn’t fly over and I kept singing and yeah, I just kept singing.

Crescendoed,

– Annie Bosco

 

– Dear Media,

We are sorry we forgot that the real risks are the men with beer bottles and the women in high heels trying to walk through the paddock in front of the horses. We forgot that you are doing your job and helping promote our sport.

Credentialed,

– NYRA

 

– Dear Men,

We apologize for breaking the gender barrier and using your bathrooms at Belmont. The lines were too long on our side and there really were no other options – and besides haven’t we all shared bathrooms for generations? What’s once more?

Relieved,

– Women

 

– Dear Commuters,

Yes, we knew there would be a lot of people using the trains after the Belmont and perhaps we didn’t prepare enough for the onslaught of people. We got caught up watching the race, man, 36 years is a long time and things just didn’t go as planned. Oh, and we were worried about the ramp collapsing due in part because of the reverberations of LL Cool J playing (see above).

Delayed,

– Long Island Rail Road

 

– Dear Commuters (2),

We are sorry you missed your train from Penn Station, but we can’t refund your money or give you a credit for another trip. Well, we can, but we won’t. Who do you think we are, Southwest Airlines? Please call with any thoughts or concerns, a continuous apology will be played while you are on hold, that should suffice. When you’ve heard enough apologies, just hang up, and consider it case closed.

Scheduled,

– Amtrak

 

– Dear Horsemen and Fans,

We are sorry about the sound system making it seem like you were at Lollapalooza instead at the Derby.

Amplified,

– Churchill Downs

 

– Dear Silks Room Patrons,

We are sorry we took up most of your “paddock view” with Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski’s set-up and stage.

Restricted,

– Churchill Downs

 

– Dear Press,

Once again, we apologize for turning the press box into the Mansion but it was good for business. And we are good at business.

Transferred,

– Churchill Downs

 

– Dear Horses,

Sorry about the paddock. Yeah, it’s been cramped and claustrophobic for a long time and it probably wouldn’t take much to knock down the front wall, wipe out a few huts, move a few offices and have a proper paddock, but we just haven’t quite gotten to it.

Boxed,

– Pimlico

 

– Dear Ride On Curlin,

Sorry, I ran you back in the Belmont. You tried hard and gave us a great run. We’ll be back.

Tired,

– Billy Gowan

 

– Dear Dale and other Belmont Trainers,

Sorry about bringing General A Rod to the holding barn so late. I was really just testing the rules of racing and seeing what would happen, for all trainers. It had nothing to do with trying to get an edge.

Timed,

– Mike

 

– Dear Mike,

Sorry about cursing in front of your children. Next time, I’ll just punch you first.

Cursed,

– Dale

 

– Dear Steve,

Sorry about the whole microphone-in-your-face thing after one of the most emotional, gut-wrenching moments of your life. But, damn, it was good TV.

Uncensored,

– NBC

 

– Dear America,

How many times do we have to remind you? They’re horses, not machines. Anything can and will happen. Sorry no Triple Crown, again.

Next Yeared,

– Thoroughbred racing

 

– Dear Jason Blewitt’s Hawk,

Sorry about the noise, the crowds, the music (Frank Sinatra Jr. and L.L. Cool J?). We now return you to your regularly scheduled life at Belmont Park.

Bird-watched,

– New York racing fans

 

– Dear World,

I’m sorry I couldn’t get it done. I ran hard. I tried hard. It’s not Victor’s fault. It’s not the Triple Crown’s fault. It’s not Tonalist’s fault. They tell me Affirmed, Seattle Slew, Secretariat and all those others before them were the greatest of the great. I was thinking I was great, I was hoping I was great, I know you were thinking I was great and hoping I was great and I’m still great, just maybe not one of the 12 greatest of all time. Thanks for cheering for me.

Deflated but not defeated,

– Chrome